I can just imagine what those guys at Microsoft headquarters up in Redmond were thinking. "It's so like totally unfair" While Apple is a media darling and gets all this great press the only time anyone ever talks about us when they are complaining about its shortcomings. True the folks down in Cupertino seems to have been on a roll lately churning out improved versions of both their coveted iPhone and its predecessor the iPod which virtually owns the digital player market (just recently re-launched in a series of colors reminiscent of a 60's acid trip.) Even their computers though much more costly than equivalent Windows based PCs are considered status symbols that no serious creative can live without. The Apple brand is liberal, innovative and nonconformist (ironic considering the-Steve Jobs can do no wrong-herd mentality of Apple fan boys). And most annoying of all to Microsoft must be that series of Apple ads that poke fun at how clueless PC is. We need to put out our own campaign; they thought, no expenses spared and show just how cool we can be. We'll hire a celebrated cutting edge ad agency and A-list talent to create something that will lodge in people's brains. $300 million sounds like a good number, where's did we put that checkbook?

What does $300 million get you? Well nothing. At least according to the two commercials for Windows that have been released so far. The ads are the first salvo in the daunting task to inject a fresh image of the staid software empire into the public psyche, a public that has become increasingly enamored of Apple. For too long Microsoft has been seen as the evil empire, a monopoly where Windows is the operating system equivalent of Standard Oil and Bill Gates like J D Rockefeller is it's robber baron. It's not a wholly unfair comparison since both had virtual strangle holds on their respective industries for a long time and at their peak wielded unimaginable power and wealth. But Gates has since stepped down from the head of the table handing over the reins to Steven Ballmer while he concentrates on spreading his largesse to the less fortunate through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. In the process hi image has been recast from megalomaniacal capitalist to that of dedicated philanthropist.

However the house he built still battles against the perception that is a bureaucratic, competition crushing, and imagination destroying entity. The long awaited Vista operating system, which was supposed to usher in a new era for Windows, stumbled at the gate, plagued by compatibility issues bugs and the confusion caused by too many editions, Home Basic, Home Premium, Business and Ultimate. The company then launched an unsolicited takeover bid for MSN rival Yahoo, a move that garnered a lot of press but ultimately fizzled after they were rudely rebuffed. Even their formally unassailable Office suite of programs (the company's main moneymaker) is trying to fend off encroachment into its territory by open source alternatives like Sun Microsystems Open Office and web based Google Apps. To add insult to injury Google has supplanted Microsoft from its position as the world's most powerful and influential tech company. In a nutshell this has been a Britney Spears style downward spiral for the software behemoth and it required an immediate intervention. So who else to lead Microsoft in its rehabilitation than the company founder and figurehead, Gates? And who better to pair him with than the perennially funny Jerry Seinfeld. Now if there is anything Seinfeld can't be accused of it is specificity. The entire premise of his cult 90's sitcom was that it was about nothing, just four New York hipsters obsessing over the most irrelevant things. Remember the puffy shirt and the soup Nazi episodes? And this seems to be the inspiration for the new campaign from award winning Miami agency, Crispin Porter + Bogusky. The agency is known for its viral marketing prowess and boasts such high profile accounts like Burger King, American Express OPEN and Coke Zero. I can picture the creative brief that was handed out to the team at CP+B.
Goal: Change the widely held public perception (true or untrue) that Vista is a piece of "insert four letter impolite word for bodily waste here".

Microsoft's first attempt at changing public opinion was the badly received "Mojave Experiment" ads from Indianapolis based agency Bradley and Montgomery (BaM). I must interject that "Mojave Experiment" is a waste of an awesome title that could have been used for a Roswell style science fiction movie. But I digress, in this commercial the company spotlighted a group of people who has no prior experience on Vista but who had heard unfavorable things about it. They were shown a new OS code named Mojave along with its various features. Later when asked their thoughts all had positive things to say then voila the big reveal, that Mojave is really Vista with the signage removed. Though the idea was a reversal of the blind tasting Pepsi Challenge ads of the 70's and 80's it still left a bad taste in people’s mouths. The tech community interpreted it as Microsoft tricking people into liking Vista and no one likes to be made to look a fool.

Following that misguided attempt it was time for a do over and whole a different approach. In the Mojave promo Microsoft attempted to get people to focus on the OS features and not the name of the OS, which came with a lot of baggage. It was hard sell all the way leaving no doubt that the thing being pitched was a computer-operating program. The strategy took a total 180 degree turn in the in the new ads. These are so soft sell and unspecific you would be forgiven if you suddenly turned on your TV and it took you a minute before you figured out that it was not a Seinfeld rerun featuring Bill Gates in a cameo appearance. Note that when I say a minute I am not being figurative. The ads are well over the traditional length of 30 seconds. The first clocks in at 90 seconds and the full version of the second installment, which can be seen online, is even longer. In both, the only mention of computers or software or anything tech related is in the last few seconds. Some critics (the same ones who gave them a hard time about Mojave) see this as a failure to get the message across. I don't agree but more on that later.

The two videos, which can be seen on TV, on Microsoft.com and various other sites online, are sublime exercises in non-specifics. Part one finds Seinfeld wandering about a shopping mall where he spies Gates in a shoe store "Shoe Circus. Quality Shoes at Discount Prices Why Pay More". He is trying out a pair of shoes called The Conquistador which, he whispers conspiratorially, are made out of pleather. Then follows a Seinfeld-esque series of pointless off the cuff observations such as the Conquistadors run tight and Seinfeld wears his in the shower. It is inane banter worthy of any episode of the sitcom with Gates playing straight man to Seinfeld's out there character as they try and find him a pair of shoes. The former world’s richest man is notorious for being cheap and so the humor is not lost when he flashes his Shoe Circus Platinum Clown discount card at the register. In the parking lot Seinfeld segues into the sales message by asking about Microsoft's development of "moist chewy computers". Gates replies with a butt shimmy shake after which comes the overlaid tagline. "The Future. Delicious" followed by the flying Windows icon. And that was it, the ad that launched a million comments by saying essentially nothing.

The sequel is much funnier and even longer. It clocks in at 4 minutes 30 seconds and debuted about a week later. The uncut commercial is a fish out of water skit about suburbia. This time Gates and Seinfeld shack up with a regular (though somewhat quirky) Middle American family. They have dinner together, Gates reads a bedtime story to the kid and when asked if the story has monsters he replies they can't get past the firewall. Later Seinfeld makes a hilarious quip about their mission of reconnecting with the average user pointing out to Gates that, "You and I are a little out of it. You're living in some kinda moon house hovering over Seattle like the mother ship. I've got so many cars I get stuck in my own traffic. We need to connect with real people." A stolen leather giraffe, mustard with booze, Seinfeld clipping toenails all combine to form a bizarre but amusing promo in which Gates is - believe it or not- pitch perfect. Again not till the end does Seinfeld bring up Windows saying that Gate's company has connected over a billion people and asks what is next "Frog with an e-mail? Goldfish with a website? Amoeba with a blog? If it's yes give me a sign, give me a little robot". To which Gates responds by performing a robot dance which is worth the entire price of admission. Then comes the tagline: "Perpetually Connecting. PC".

The world's richest funny man raked in a sizeable payday; reportedly $10 million for lending his comedic spin to the campaign – a large but not unreasonable fee for having arguably the most recognizable comedian of the last 20 years shill for your product. We still remember him from the American Express commercials and Microsoft hopes to recreate the same cultural statement with this pairing. But it's a gamble because though Seinfeld epitomized hipster cool in the 90's it remains to be seen if he retains his cachet in 2008. Another pitfall is the chance that people will recall Seinfeld and Gates but not the product since it's barely mentioned. Those now familiar Apple spots also play on the odd couple device. They feature a hipster creative type (Mac) and a beige suited middle management type (PC) where the drab uptight PC is constantly trying to upstage the cooler nonchalant Mac. However unlike the above mentioned Apple series that specifically points out the differences between living in an effortless utopian Mac universe to a complicated dystopian PC world and overtly courts PC users to take a bite of the Apple these spots from Microsoft are unconcerned with their competition. They are not selling Vista as an operating system so much as they are trying to wipe the slate clean of all that we associate with Microsoft. We too can be cool and hip is the undercurrent; we too can be plugged into the zeitgeist and come out with relevant products before you even know you need them. (Btw forget about the Zune that was the old us, this here is the new us).

I disagree with the naysayers who think it is a waste of money and that the campaign is confusing and pointless. Firstly because Microsoft has so much money if it wanted to build an entire forest with leaves made of dollar bills it could but more seriously because I see a method to their madness. Microsoft wants to soften up the viewers, break the ice so to speak with the initial commercials. The first two ads are not meant to induce a burning desire in anyone to go out and purchase Windows based products. Their sole purpose is to get you talking, get you anticipating what comes next. And in this they hit a home run. Love it, hate it, everyone seems to have an opinion of the campaign so far. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, the only thing worse than people talking about you is people not talking about you.

According to a company spokesman the next phase of the campaign will be more Windows centric ads encompassing desktop, laptop and mobile aspects of the company's products. Contrary to what has been reported online not all the $300 million purse will go into producing TV commercials, some will be spent in recruiting Windows "gurus" initially 155 with more later, to solve problems and preach the Windows gospel to customers in stores like Best Buy and Circuit City. Sort of like the genius bar in Apple retail stores. But the main thrust of the campaign is to convince us that Bill Gates knows something interesting about Windows that we don't and he's not telling, well maybe he's dropping hints to his new best friend Seinfeld through whom the rest of the world will discover the wonders that are hidden away in the deepest darkest depths of planet Microsoft. As the campaign progresses this dynamic duo of Gates and Seinfeld may turn out to be the most talked about comedy act of late, the Lucy and Ricky or Laurel and Hardy for the post millennial generation. And if advertising doesn't pan out they can always take their act on the road. I can just see the major networks getting into a bidding war over a show starring these two, "Bill and Jerry's Pointless Adventures". Pure sitcom gold.